I feel like, recently, I'm having a really hard times.
Where I couldn't stand by my own feet.
The darkness seems to be so strong to hold me back from rise again.
-- aku futur.
But, I suppose if you want to lose and then settled down in it.
Because I still have friends who want to help.
Because I have my mom and dad that, I know they care about me.
Because I still have the one who is aware of any reason for everything.
Berulangkali aku mengingatkan diriku.
Ahh, ia seolah membuat aku semakin terasa menjauh dengan-Nya.
I don't know why I feels all these crap feelings,
I don't know how to stop thinking,
I can't control my mind to think all the bad things,
I can't stop myself from make me hurt in any ways I could.
It's just hard to fight my own mind,
It's just hard to wake up in the morning,
It's just hard to get out from the bed,
It's just so hard to be myself.
But I know,
-- I need to be strong
"Alin, mungkin ujian yang Allah beri pada Alin di dunia ini sangat hebat, tetapi mungkin Allah nak mudahkan kehidupan di alam barzakh, atau mungkin Allah mudahkan Alin di titian Sirat atau mungkin juga Allah telah sediakan sesuatu yang abadi di Syurga-Nya." - someone in heart.
"Alin, akak tahu awak kuat. Akak nampak potensi mujahadah dalam diri Alin. Alin cuma kena sentiasa belajar sabar di dalam bersabar. Orang mungkin kata sabar ada hadnya, tapi sebenarnya tidak. Ambil ibrah dari sifat kesabaran Nabi Ayub. Moga Tabah ya sayang." - Kakak manis.
I am sorry, if I'm being to emotional, or annoying, or oversensitive. I know, that I am not good enough, I know that I may be just trying to achieve your attention, but try to understand how I really feels and what I am going through all days. It's just if you can understand, it's okay but don't judge me.